Disappointment comes in everyone’s life and usually in every area, multiple times. And with it can come hopelessness and we many times lose our joy and energy for life. At times seasons of disappointment are long and exhausting and we just want to give up. Is this just me or do you struggle with seasons of disappointment?
We find ourselves disappointed in our jobs, and our churches, and our families, and our children, and our marriages. We even find ourselves disappointed in God at times. Now if you are one of those highly spiritual people that can’t handle that statement I’m sorry…but this is raw honesty.
I have found myself disappointed in God. Why? Because He didn’t do things the way I thought He should. There, I said it! I have thought of this song often in my times of disappointment and sang it to the top of my lungs with tears streaming, ” I thought by now You would have come down and washed my tears away, stepped in and saved the day.But once again I say Amen and it’s still raining.”
I stood on His Word. I confessed His Word. I confessed my sins. I did my best to pursue Him. In all this the circumstances remained the same. And I struggled not to be disappointed.
It is easy when things are going great and we are blessed and prospering to read Job’s life story and think we could say like Job, “Yet if He slay me, still I will trust Him”. It is a totally different story when we are going through hell. And in this hell we live in a cushy, bless me Christian world where no one believes that God doesn’t let us live in a rose garden with no thorns all the time. Where you learn that those you thought were friends couldn’t hang on and walk with you through the tough times … just like Job’s friends. We have experienced the kind of friends that Job had and you have too. They only want to hang when heaven is open and God’s blessings are chasing you down. We’ve also learned that friendships are proven through time and that what you say is worth nothing if not followed by what you do. If we’ve learned anything I hope it is to be the kind of friend that will walk through heaven and hell on earth with others!
I find myself exhausted in the midst of struggles. And I’m wondering where God is in the midst of all this! Yet, I still have hope. I still have dreams and visions of things I believe God wants us to do. But I feel stuck at times in Job’s world. And then God reminds me that this is a journey … a process of redemption and completion. And none of it catches God by surprise. That He is at work in our lives.
And even as I am completing this God reminded that He is working out His purposes and plans in and through our lives. And that includes valleys and trials and injustice and pain. He is working out HIS plans. We still have some big dreams to equip, encourage and restore pastors and leaders here and abroad. Dreams to knit Oasis (the untraditional church we pastor) into the very fabric of our community as influencers. Dreams to bring healing and wholeness to the hurt and wounded. Dreams to put coffee shops in communities as a safe place for the community and a place of life and relationships that effects change.
I realize again how large the vision is … Much bigger than the two of us. It is a God sized vision and will only be realized as He makes it happen. We are His submitted vessels. So I know that everything in our lives to this point has been preparing us for this moment in time … whatever that ends of looking like is up to God. We submit our dreams to Him … to His vision and His plan.
And in it all these are the things I KNOW:
I KNOW He loves me with an unfailing love that endures forever
I KNOW Whom I believe in and He is able
I KNOW that He is utterly trustworthy
I KNOW He has my best interest at heart
I KNOW that His ways are higher than my ways
I KNOW that His plans for me are good
I KNOW in Him I have a future and a hope
I KNOW in Him I am an overcomer
I KNOW He is completing me and He never gives up on me
I KNOW He is jealous for me
So, I choose each day and EVERY day…
To trust Him
To strive toward contentment
To love Him
To live forgiven
To pursue Him
To love my husband and children and grandchildren
To humble myself
To live grateful
To NEVER give up
To pursue His purposes and plans…HIS vision.
And I KNOW He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How LOVING and PATIENT He must be. Because He is STILL working on me.
“For I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him[a]until the day of his return.”
2 Timothy 1:12b
Trusting in the God I KNOW…